“The Vampire’s Assistant” fails to impress

Darren Shan (Chris Massoglia) and his best friend Steve Leonard (Josh Hutcherson) in "Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant."

Vampires seem to be taking over the world these days.

Or at least they’re taking over entertainment. The Twilight saga, “True Blood” and “The Vampire Diaries” just to name a few. New to the scene is “Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant,” an adaptation of Darren Shan’s book series. It opened in theaters back on Oct. 23, and the DVD is set for release on Feb. 23.

It took a few years for this series to be morphed into film form, and before I saw the movie I thought it’d be well worth the wait. Darren Shan created quite a series with Cirque Du Freak, complete with corky characters and one dangerous adventure after another.

But the film flips the script and leaves the only similarity between book and film being characters.

One major difference was the emphasis on relationships. In the book, the first one emphasizes Steve and Darren’s relationship. Once Darren becomes half-vampire, he is ostracized and he is forced to form new bonds. This is where his friendship with the Cirque Du Freak’s snake boy Evra Von buds.

The film emphasizes Darren’s relationship with Steve and nothing else. Evra barely has a role until the end; not to mention his clothes are almost completely covering him. Evra is supposed to be completely covered in scales and he only wears a pair of yellow shorts. No doubt only having to put scales on the face and hands of Patrick Fugit (the actor playing Evra) cut down on the budget.

The flier for the Cirque Du Freak is found by Steve early in the first novel and he brings it to the attention of his group of friends, including Darren. In the film, it is thrown out of a limousine window to Darren and Steve by Mr. Tiny. The problems here? They completely eliminated their circle of friends, which becomes semi-important later when Darren has to abandon them when he’s blooded by the vampire Larten Crepsley. Also, Mr. Tiny doesn’t appear until the second book.

A completely new character is introduced in the film as well, Rebecca the monkey girl. Needless to say I was perplexed when she appeared on screen. The film was said to be based on the first three books; none of them contained a monkey girl named Rebecca as part of the Cirque.

While we’re pointing out character differences, there’s more. An enthusiastic environmentalist named Reggie Veggie (R.V.) who is introduced in the second book The Vampire’s Assistant is completely left out, as well as Darren and Evra’s young friend Sam Grest. Another character variation was Cormac Limbs, a male character in the book, who was changed to Corma Limbs and made female in the film.

That’s just the half of what was switched up.

A major disrupt in the film was Steve getting bitten by Madam Octa, Mr. Crepsley’s pet spider. In the book, Steve gets bitten in Darren’s room when Darren’s little sister pops into the room. Because Darren wants to keep it a secret, he goes to Mr. Crepsley and agrees to do whatever it takes to get antidote and save Steve. Mr. Crepsley only agreed if Darren would become his half-vampire assistant, which sets up the rest of the series.

In the film, Steve gets bitten in the hall at school in front of a bunch of students. The key to Darren becoming half-vampire was going to Mr. Crepsley as a last resort. If people had known what bit Steve, they could’ve done research to cure him and Darren wouldn’t have needed to go to Mr. Crepsley. And even if he did, he might not have made the deal to become half-vampire, which is obviously pretty important.

The plot line from the third novel in the series Tunnels of Blood was also almost completely eradicated — except for Murlough, the Vampanese. Murlough bloods Steve (turns him into a half-vampire like Darren) and he and Darren have a very climatic duel in the end, which was all too predictable and far too cheesy. It also never happens in the novel.

However

Overall, anyone who went to see this movie and spent $10 wasted their money. $5 would make it an okay Halloween movie endeavor, and the $7.50 I spent was my limit.

Think twice (maybe three times) before you pick up the DVD on Feb. 23.

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