Everyone’s had one at some point – a favorite singer you fantasize about, an actress you imagine yourself with. It may feel irrational at times but how much is too much?
When you’re young, you have all the time in the world to dream about famous people you’ll never be with. You put posters on your wall, beg on your knees for tickets to events and memorize the content everyday. Anything that can make you feel close to your favorite entertainer is fair game to a “stan.”
No one will judge a tween too harshly if they blast a pop star’s album in their room. They still have things one would consider more important, but not many would disagree children should have fun. But what about when it’s an adult? It’s not everyday you see a childless woman in her 30s watch YouTubers in her spare time.
One thing to keep in mind when you know someone who’s into a “celebrity” is they usually don’t have much going on. Even someone who has a full-time job may not have a social life if friends aren’t calling them to hang out. Sitting in your room, sipping wine and eating chili fries while watching Jacksepticeye isn’t a bad alternative Saturday night.
Traveling also comes easier when you have a fave you want to see. Even somewhere you’ve been before makes the days more exciting – I love an excuse to go to Chicago and see Justin Bieber perform. It’s even better when you’ve never been to the city before because you can sight-see and attend an incredible event.
I used to want to be an entertainment journalist. Growing up at the turn of the millennium, we got to experience some of the most intense fanaticism since the Beatles. *NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears reigned supreme and no one could tell us a damn thing against it. I dreamed of interviewing them for a magazine feature – what makes Christina Aguilera tick? What new music are they working on and where does their inspiration come from? It fascinated me.
Then Facebook, Twitter and Instagram happened. Now our favorites can share their lives directly with the people who keep up with them. JC Chasez couldn’t instantly share a vacation picture with a million people back at the pique of his career – you’d have to interview him and ask about that. The answers to most of our questions now come directly from the source.
That firsthand content may add to stans clinging to their favorite creator. But what exactly is clingy? If I watch YouTubers because my phone has no notifications, what’s the harm in that? I rarely turn down official event invites or renege on commitments I’ve already made. But maybe that’s another problem with stans.
Maybe when you’re too available, people don’t respect you. One could use free time to pursue their own passions – writing a novel, starting a band, becoming an accountant or even working in a grocery store. Most people like those who have ambition – if you’re lucky enough to know what you want. If you don’t, favorite entertainers can help fill that void…even if only temporarily.
When you feel lost, like nothing you do is good enough and then someone comes along and tells you it is – especially someone safe who can’t do you harm because they’re not near you and don’t know you – it can be enticing.
You can still have a good head on your shoulders too. Plenty of people who are into entertainers give those entertainers space to be human beings. Most fans will send nice messages when their fave needs to take time off or support them when they make a decision for themselves. Not all fans think they own their entertainer, particularly if they’re older.
Justin Bieber fans, for example, have a bad reputation because of how some of them treated his ex-girlfriend. It was deemed childish and irrational to send hate to a woman they didn’t know just because she was dating the object of their affection. Personally I agreed, it didn’t affect their lives so it seemed unnecessary. But I understand the plight of both sides; you don’t know them personally but gossip can cure boredom. It’s easy for people with lots going on to suggest you focus on your own life.
Some people are hard to please as well. I tend to cling to certain things because I feel like I won’t find anything better – that’s one reason I can watch the same movies over and over. Since I’ve had several faves come along it can’t be too hard to find things I like, but that’s a conundrum-type mental roadblock only I can get past.
Seeing someone intensely into a public figure can seem scary sometimes. Christina Grimmie lost her life because of an overly-obsessed fan. Setting aside the access that fan had to a gun (which is another debate entirely), the concern makes sense. But security and restraining orders are a thing for the extreme members of fandom communities and most don’t fall into that category.
The issue with obsession and addiction is it “disrupts your life.” But what if you don’t have much life to disrupt? Telling someone to get a life sounds harsh delivered in the wrong form from the wrong person. It’s easier said than done to reach out to the few friends one has, and always doing things by yourself gets old (work might too).
The bottom line is people who are obsessed with celebrities aren’t all bad. Many are harmless and just want to feel like they belong somewhere. Can’t relate? Good thing we’re not here to please you.
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