Emotions are natural, even negative ones. I watched a Ted Talk about emotional courage and the importance of wanting to feel. When I was a teenager and to this day, I get my anger and frustration out with metal music.
In high school I was into a band called Kittie—an all-female metal quartet from London, Ontario who defined bad ass. Listening to Kittie was so validating and thrashing to their music became my favorite pastime. As a young black girl, seeing Fallon Bowman slamming her guitar and screaming her heart out made me fall in love with them. I’ve always looked up to strong women and watching Fallon filled me with a sense of belonging.
Most people like to feel seen and heard, at least by someone. To have a woman of color be so widely accepted in the kind of intense emotions Kittie screams about was just…for lack of a better word, awesome.
Fallon gave me someone to relate to—I saw a passion in her I wanted to exude myself. I’d watch Kittie’s “Brackish” and “Charlotte” videos and pretend I was the bassist. Not only was it a coping mechanism but it gave me hope for how powerful I could become too.
Kittie would’ve been a great band regardless, but it was special seeing a girl who looked like me play in a metal band. Representation is important and sometimes it takes a while to see just how true that is. While Kittie hailed from Ontario, after a while their influence stretched countries.
I was lucky enough to get in contact with Fallon to answer a few of my most pressing questions.
How did you first get into metal?
Morgan and Mercedes were the ones that initially introduced me to metal. The album? Sepultura’s Roots. It terrified me but also I couldn’t stop listening to it afterwards.
What differences did you notice in your experience in the group from the other ladies’?
I cannot recall any times where I felt I was treated differently based on my (extremely mixed) race in comparison to the other ladies. Like not even one, which, now that I reflect on it, could either mean that I blocked instances of it out, or the fact that we were “females in a male-dominated genre” really overshadowed the fact that I was a person of colour and no one commented on it. Both troublesome in their own ways.
What was the best thing that happened to you in Kittie? What might you change if you had the chance?
Best thing that happened I guess was meeting some of my idols and not being disappointed. I sometimes wish we had success at an older age because at the time I don’t think I had enough time to process all that was happening to me and to truly appreciate all the amazing opportunities put before me. That’s not to say I didn’t appreciate it at all: I just didn’t take a moment’s breath until well into 2001, long after I left the band.
What advice would you give young black women trying to make their way in metal?
My only advice is to just do it but also always advocate for yourself. Never be afraid to speak up: in a genre that encourages everyone to have the loudest yell, yell fucking loud when people choose not to listen to you.
What do you think is the biggest hurdle a young black girl might face trying to make a name for themselves in metal?
One thing I hear often from bipoc girls who message me is that they feel like metal isn’t “their music to listen to”; Music “belongs” to no one. It speaks to who it speaks to. So my ladies: jump in and tear up the place; don’t feel like you don’t belong there. You have just as much right to be there as anyone else. Better yet, form a goddamn band and “they” who gatekeep can fuck off.
What did your experience as a black woman in metal teach you?
I will refer back to what I said in question 2 – I rarely thought of myself in this genre along a racial divide. The “female” thing was definitely something that was focused upon more. I wonder though, reflecting on it now, if the experience would have been different for me if I grew up anywhere else, in the US for example.
If you want to know more about Fallon and her current work, visit her website!
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